3:00 Christmas Eve mass, St. Ignatius. Well, here goes nothing . . .
'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was stirring, except for the mouse (because the cat had killed the mouse two nights earlier - true story).
The girls were still primping, while the boys tied their ties.
It was nearly one-thirty! Time for three o'clock mass at St. I's!
Down the road they did travel, just a mile or so,
Looking forward to the chaos of the matinee show.
The Odyssey purred as they pulled in the lot
'Til Dad squealed the tires to nab the last spot.
The church was a vision in Christmas-toned hues,
While the visitors sprinted and haggled and wrestled for pews:
"That's my seat!" "I want it!" "Why can't we all fit?"
"Where's Grandma?" "Where's Grandpa?" "There's nowhere to sit!"
Several rows had been saved for the religiously late,
But our gang got a seat! - It was Christmas Eve fate!
The children were lined up at quarter past two
For their "piano recital" which started on cue.
They tickled the ivories . . . some more than others,
Temporarily blinded by their photo-snapping mothers.
'Twas a sigh of relief when the bells tolled at three
For the entrance procession led by Father Saint G.
He led with "MY FRIENDS . . " and then started to pray,
Desperately trying to put Christ back into this Christmas Day,
But the crowd was distracted; they lined the church walls.
The children kept busy with trucks, books, and dolls.
The doors were propped open to let in a breeze,
When the temp in the church reached one hundred degrees.
A lost lectionary caused an awkward delay,
And a few screaming children drew looks of dismay.
"And also with you" could be heard loud and clear,
From the "faithful" who make it to church once a year.
After that, things went well through the final "Amen."
Joy to the world! It was only four-ten.
As one mass let out and another poured in,
The annual Monfort Heights gridlock kicked in.
Nothing says Christmas like honking your horn,
There would be no silence here on the night He was born.
Truth is, it was perfect, making memories so dear,
(And so, I'll just end this ridiculous nonsense and say . . . )
Happy holidays to all, and I'll see you next year.
ATTENDANCE: Do you have to ask?
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