A Golden Anniversary

Week Six - Saint Catharine

4:00 Saturday afternoon mass at St. Catharine in Westwood. Let me start by clarifying that the above photo is a side view of the church. Some minor construction at the main entrance to the church blocked what would have otherwise been a very nice photograph.

Wow. It's all about the details, and the interior of St. Catharine has a LOT of them. From the tile and hardwood floors to the ridiculously detailed stained glass windows (depicting the eight beatitudes), there's a lot to look at here. I can't say that I particularly liked the ceiling, but it certainly was impressive - an arched ceiling with arched wooden beams. I had to smile when I realized the altar was supported by two carved wooden angels. On the wall behind the altar was perhaps the most intriguing artwork in the church. Being in my usual spot towards the rear of the church, it was difficult to determine exactly what I was looking at. Clearly, a display, floor to ceiling, of 13 carved wooden - I think wooden - statues. A larger statue at the center top was flanked by three smaller statues aligned horizontally on either side. Six additional statues, three on each side, were aligned vertically below the seven mentioned above. And so the thought processes begin. Who are these people? First thought - 13? Jesus and the 12 disciples. No, no. Although the center figure is, in fact, larger, the six arranged vertically are of that same larger size. I don't recall anything special about six of the 12 that would qualify them for an increase in wooden stature. Wait. One of those is definitely a woman . . . and one looks like a robed, hooded character from Star Wars. Approaching the altar later to receive communion, I was doing everything I could to see around the incredibly tall gentleman in front of me. Upon closer examination, I realized that the top center statue was also a woman. I'll take a wild guess and assume it's Saint Catharine, but as for the rest of them, your guess is as good as mine.

St. Catharine is a fairly large church, and this particular evening it was only about half full, and a good portion of that half was the family and friends of a couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. I expected their attendance to extend the mass considerably, but a quick blessing over the happy couple was the extent of it, and it was quite nice at that.

Although a loud, traditional organ accompanied all of the music for the mass, I was somewhat disappointed not to recognize one hymn or one sung response. I was also caught off-guard when, after sitting down for the offertory hymn, I suddenly realized that after the first verse, everyone was standing again. What the . . . ? With just musical accompaniment, the offertory gifts were brought to the altar, at which time, everyone sat back down and continued with the hymn. Huh. My first liturgical variation!

The priest read a rather long, tedious homily. Maybe I'm spoiled by the years of homilies at St. Ignatius where the priests almost always "speak from the heart" without even the use of notes, but I definitely look for that extemporaneity. While I'm sure their homilies have been written out and rehearsed, they just seem more . . . real. A homily read to the congregation, although probably more organized and even more eloquent, always seems to be just a little too perfect and, as a result, a little too boring. I'm just sayin'.

I find it interesting to note that, after six weeks, I've only been to one church where I didn't recognize at least one person. At St. Catharine's, I was surprised to see two people that I know! That's either a commentary on how Catholic my lifestyle really is or how Catholic Cincinnati is.

ATTENDANCE: Half full

DURATION: 60 minutes

Simon Says

Week Five - Saint Simon


7:30 Saturday evening mass at St. Simon. St. Simon's church and parish are both small and unpretentious, which is exactly why St. Simon is my favorite place to attend mass. Situated in a remote corner of Delhi, going to St. Simon is like going to a little church in the country. It's quiet and simple. I love the timing of this mass, the only Saturday evening mass I'm aware of at this point. It gives you time to enjoy a leisurely Saturday dinner but still squeeze in a Saturday mass and have time left over before it's too late to do anything else. This particular evening, the crowd was smaller than usual, no doubt a result of the shorter days and earlier nights. Navigating the winding hills of Delhi can be tricky even during the day, so I'm thinking many of the regulars adjust their church-going around this time of year and might not return to the evening mass until next spring. Rather than pews, St. Simon uses interlocking chairs. The pros? They're padded. They give a nice sense of personal space. Cons? They're chairs. Guess I'm old school, but I like pews.

The music on Saturday evenings is provided by a small group consisting of two older men and three older women - nothing fancy, but I love them to death because you know these are people who simply like to sing. I'm particularly fond of the woman who has taken to using a booklight clipped on to the top of her hymnal. I find the group's flurry of activity before mass, using Post-It flags to mark the evening's selections, just as endearing . The gentlemen playing piano accompaniment is phenomenal - I could listen to him play all night.

The pastor of St. Simon is an elderly man whose health always seems rather precarious. Over the past few years, he has almost always had to rely on a cane or the use of someone's arm for support. Occasionally, he would be seated while reading the gospel, delivering his homily, and even saying the Eucharistic Prayer. This week, I was happy to see him strong and without the need of any assistance in what appeared to be better-than-ever health! It is sometimes difficult to hear him, but when you can, his to-the-point homilies are always quite interesting. Listen to enough of his homilies and you'll also find him to be quite well-traveled. He makes a point to always use a visual aid in his homilies, usually something unusual, making his talks educational as well as inspirational. This week, the visual aid was three different spoons from his kitchen drawer . . . well, it's usually something unusual.
I like the people at St. Simon. Some might call them "true west-siders." I always joke that going to mass at St. Simon is like going to a Dillard's fashion show. Sometime in July, St. Simon holds their annual parish festival. It seems to get smaller and smaller every year, but the corn makes it all worthwhile. The grilled corn on the cob, grown locally, is possibly the best you'll ever taste. Go to the 7:30 mass on the Saturday evening of their festival weekend and then head straight to the corn booth. At $1 an ear, it's a little taste of heaven.

ATTENDANCE: Less than full

DURATION: 40 minutes

Saint Barnyard

Week Four - Saint Bernard

5:00 Saturday afternoon mass at Saint Bernard. Note that it is NOT "Saint Ber-NARD", like the dog. Put the accent on the first syllable and make the "nard" sound like "nerd". "BER-nerd". To be completely accurate, it's "Saint Bernard of Clairveaux."

St Bernard's is charming - from the old world exterior and well-kept grounds to the dark wood of the pews and beamed ceiling to the rather medieval chandeliers over the center aisle. Everything is good . . . until you get to the altar where a disastrous clash of styles occurs. Charming meets contemporary, and it's not pretty. I unfortunately used a good portion of my thought processes during mass trying to unravel the mystery of three truly distracting images on the wall behind the altar. The third image was clearly a dove, i.e., the Holy Spirit. Duh, that must mean the first is the Father and the second, the Son! Then why does the first look like a volcano? And the second was a four-legged animal, possibly a horse or a lamb, the latter of which would make sense, but whatever it was carried a banner. Maybe this is a reference to some story about St. Bernard I don't know about. Troubling. And while I can understand the electric bulbs in the chandeliers, electric bulbs in the candle sconces on either side of the altar? Really? Really?

St. Bernard's is what I would consider a small parish, and the size of the church seemed to agree. Therefore, I was surprised by the number in attendance. The mass was very crowded, almost to the point of being claustrophobic. Between me and the women on my left and right, there was a lot of "purse-bumping" going on. I liked the elderly woman in front of me who had her hymnal open and ready to go from the moment she sat down, a good 20 minutes early. She quietly sang every song, from the "classics" (nice organ accompaniment) to the more recent (not-as-nice-but-adequate piano accompaniment). I think I saw Colonel Sanders there.

It struck me as I sat at St. Bernard's this week. Isn't it funny? Anyone, anywhere, can walk into any church for any mass and sit down and enjoy the show. You don't need a ticket; you don't need a reservation. You don't have to be a member; you don't have to show an ID. You get your pick of the seats (they're all in the same price range - free), and you'll be treated the same as the senior citizen next to you who was baptized there. Huh. Pretty cool.

ATTENDANCE: Full

DURATION: 55 minutes

Body of Christ

Week Three - Corpus Christi

10:30 Sunday mass at Corpus Christi (New Burlington). The eastern side of Corpus Christi, facing Hamilton Avenue, gives the appearance of a large, somewhat imposing church. The western side, however, where the entrance and parking lot are situated, gives a far more accurate depiction of the church. Corpus Christi turned out to be surprisingly small - as the sign on the wall next to me stated, "Maximum Occupancy 482", which, I assume, included the small amount of balcony seating above me. Corpus Christi's church was also - and I hate to say this - drab and, quite frankly, pretty darn ugly, but the good news, as discussed at the end of mass, is that a renovation project is apparently ready to begin. With only a few formalities that still need to take place before "building" gets under way, plans are being made to move all services "downstairs." I feel rather lucky to have seen the "before" church; guess I'll have to return in a few months to check out the "after."

Once I got past the decor, I found a nice Sunday mass. The music group consisted of a dozen men and women, including a mandolin player which added a nice touch. They sounded quite nice. The Call to Worship included a reminder to turn off all cell phones and pagers as well as an "invitation" to remain until the end of the recessional song. I liked that last part, especially the subtlety of it, but I still saw a few rebels slip out early. I got a kick out of the announcement for the upcoming "Blacktop Social" (I liked the name) and the accompanying comment about an abundance of "goose droppings" in the parking lot. Sure enough, when leaving, I never spotted a single goose, but it was more than evident that a huge flock of them had been there.

I will forever remember this mass as "The Cane Mass." Among those attending, I have never seen so many people with canes at one time - even the priest had a cane! The canes didn't bother me in the least. On the contrary, I found it charming, but one small annoyance did. I had taken a seat in a pew towards the rear of the church. I wasn't sitting at the end of the pew but had scooted in enough to leave a "person-width" or two on the end. Let me preface the rest of this by saying, I don't mind changing my first choice of seats when I go to church. Hearing the usual, polite "Is this seat taken?" or "Do you mind if I sit here?" or even the "Can we climb over you?", I'm happy enough to slide left or right to accomodate those looking for a seat. Today, I looked up from my spot to see a young woman, followed by her husband and toddler, glaring at me. No formalities, no smile, nothing. She was just standing there, waiting, looking at me with an angry, blank stare. Translation? "MOVE." Maybe she had a rough night with Junior. Maybe I was in "their" seat (always a hazard as a visitor to a regular Sunday mass). I don't know, but I moved down. Before the end of the opening song, they had left for the cry room.

ATTENDANCE: Comfortably full

DURATION: 50 minutes

In the Round

Week Two - Saint Aloysius Gonzaga

4:00 Saturday afternoon mass at Saint Aloysius Gonzaga - a whole 2.5 miles from my house. I attended a wedding at St. Al's once, but since said wedding was over 40 years ago, I'm going to count this one as a new experience. Ironically, as I was getting out of my car in the parking lot, a neighborhood friend - and fellow St. Ignatius parishioner - was getting out of hers. Small world. She immediately warned me that St. Al's is notoriously cold inside, and sure enough, all of the regulars came equipped with sweaters and jackets. Of course, 90% of those regulars were senior citizens, so they probably take sweaters and jackets just about everywhere, cold or no cold.

In spite of its fairly contemporary appearance, upon entering the church, it was impossible to ignore the huge organ pipes. Unfortunately, no luck hearing the organ - piano accompaniment was the order for the day. The altar at St. Al's is situated in the center of the church with the majority of the seating surrounding it. A few seats are directly behind the priest which means that most of the congregation is not only looking at the priest and the altar but, unavoidably, at those people who choose to sit in those back seats. I thought this would be awkward for them, but apparently I was wrong. I couldn't help but notice that the few people who came in late, after mass started, took those very seats, unfazed, and then during the consecration, because they didn't have kneelers, sat there like a bunch of lazy heathens taking in a movie. They probably left right after communion too.

Given the recent uproar over the N1H1 flu, during the sign of peace, I couldn't help but wonder what would soon happen to The Handshake. Sure enough, before mass ended, the priest addressed the issue in vague terms - don't shake hands if you don't feel well or don't want to, etc., etc. At that same moment, one of the servers managed to both cough into the crook of his arm while wiping his nose on the sleeve of his alb. Priceless. BUT my new BFF was there! An elderly, white-haired gentleman dressed in his very best black suit, white dress shirt . . . and A BOW TIE. You just don't see that much. The whole experience was actually nice. On my 10-cross scale, I give St. Al's 7 crosses, but I'm still wondering - is it GON-za-ga or gon-ZA-ga?

ATTENDANCE: Comfortably full

DURATION: 45 minutes